Unconditional love. Reportedly the best and highest love one can give and receive. Unconditional love is a terrific tool for building confidence in ourselves, children, loved ones, and others. Unfortunately, unconditional love can be taken to an unhealthy extreme. Unconditional love is useful when supporting others through trying times, growth periods, and mistakes. However, unconditional love is not a good choice when faced with a person who does not accept the boundaries of others, repeatedly makes choices that harm others, and lacks a moral compass. In such cases it is best to give yourself unconditional love and leave toxic people behind.
In my work, I have seen a large number of people who cannot recognize when to stop forgiving and trusting another person. Having also struggled in this area, I want to share tips for recognizing and maintaining a distance from people who do not qualify for our unconditional love.
Here are some ways to recognize a toxic person early on:
- When this person walks into the room, all of the air is taken out. No one can say or do anything due to fear of the person having an outburst.
- You give and give but never receive anything in return. Any giving done by a toxic person is done with anger and resentment.
- You set boundaries and let the person know what makes you uncomfortable and the person proceeds to continue the hurtful behavior anyway.
- You can never do anything right. No matter how hard you try, you feel like a complete loser in the person’s presence.
- The person eternally holds grudges. While you quickly forgive and forget the person’s bad behavior, this person remembers every time he or she felt wronged and won’t hesitate to bring up your “transgressions”.
- You feel crazy when this person is around. Although, you are confident in all other situations, with this person you feel mixed up and defeated.
- You feel hard to love when this person is around.
These red flags let you know immediately who you are dealing with and are a sign you need to move on.
All the best!