As a young girl, I believed that all people were good and had everyone’s best interests at heart. I believed that everyone loved change and growth. Now that I am older, I realize that each person must take care of him/herself. Many people show up daily without living to the fullest depths of life. For a long time, I was a crusader for helping others when I needed to crusade for myself.
Of all the things I learned from studying counseling, the greatest gift was the art of detachment. You see, we can only control our own thoughts and actions. It is not possible to make a situation different by forcing others to change. We can merely share our position and continue to live our lives. I have met quite a few suffering people from all walks off life. From what I can tell, it is a person’s inability to be separate from others, social attention, keeping up appearances, and so on that causes great suffering in his/her life.
I thought I might write more on detaching and leave some tips to help each of you on your way. Once you learn to detach from your wounds, the words of others, and your belief of what life should be, you will be well on your way to being unstoppable.
- See others are their own beings. No person can own another person. We can encourage and listen to others but beyond that, each of us is a separate being.
- Find and live from your passion. You are more difficult to stop when you are driven by your purpose. Passion and freedom go hand in hand.
- Surrender to your higher self/higher power. There are literally innumerable things to change in this world. Do your part and let your higher power take care of the rest. Also surrender your burdens to something higher. Everything will right itself in time.
- Keep an eye out for chances to grow. Rather than pointing out others’ flaws, seek out the knowledge to overcome the need to judge others and rather let your issues with their actions be an impetus for growth.
- Change who you are as the opportunity unfolds. While we can all probably see a large portion of our flaws, it is not necessary to hurry through them. Watch for the information coming into your life and be willing to grow when the time comes.
- Refuse to let toxic people run you. If you interact with a person that makes you feel hard to love, that is a sign the person is toxic. Once you have recognized a toxic person, take their actions and words as a grain of salt.
- Refrain from rash judgements and actions. When your feathers are ruffled or your concern for another is great, take some time out before you act. You will get less involved and attached when your fight or flight reaction settles.
All the best!