As a child, I was taught that everyone was right, except me. Everyone had a right to an opinion, except me. It was a long painful road to realizing my thoughts and opinions were very important as were boundaries. Naturally, the people who held me back were not very happy when I gained a voice.
In thinking of others, I want to say your opinion matters as well. Each individual has unique hopes and dreams, and they are supposed to. If you feel frightened of speaking up, there is a problem. Everyone has a right to be heard and get his or her needs met. The only validation you need for having rights is making sure you are not taking away someone else’s right to have a voice. Of course, if you are in a relationship with a character disordered person, you need to only worry about yourself. Trying to develop a win-win situation with a personality disordered person is futile. Speaking your mind is the most important thing you can do when working to achieve your best life/self.
Here are some tips for navigating the waters of self expression:
- It’s okay to step back and work through your feelings before speaking. Own your part of difficult situations and know your worth. No one should be put down and belittled for who they are.
- Distance yourself from people who make you feel hard to love. People who love themselves will build you up, not tear you down ~ and those are the people you want to surround yourself with.
- Take time for yourself. It is hard to deal with others if your cup is not full. Express yourself through different mediums and experiences. Nurture new and old hobbies, make new friends, and so on.
- Hire a coach to help push you out of your comfort zone. Trained, experienced coaches can hold you accountable and help you up your game – with your permission.
- Learn how to say “no”, “stop”, “I am not okay with that”. Refuse to let toxic people walk all over you or make you feel less.
- Remember the actions of self and others are direct reflections of what is going on in each of us. Step into your abundance and away from those who do not believe in abundance.
All the best!