As we go through life, we meet many kinds of people.  Some people we like instantly and others we could take or leave.  However, there is one type of person who is truly puzzling.  This type of person may seem ideal at first, liking the things we like and being the ultimate friend/coworker/partner.  Of course there are hints of manipulation and temper tantrums from the start.  At some point, you realize that this person’s reality is not your reality or even the reality of the masses.  If you end up being caught in this person’s web, they will take you down, suck out all of your self esteem, and render you frightened and cowering.

The individuals I am talking about here are the personality disordered and to a larger extent, people who struggle with narcissistic disturbances.  In the long run, it is best to not to become too close to these types of people.  Their scenario of life is win/lose and their goal is to make you and anyone else who crosses their path the loser in every situation.  They will do everything in their power to undermine you and make you look like the crazy person.  They will spread lies about you.  Every conversation with them will be an opportunity for them to identify and exploit your weaknesses.

So, how can you quickly recognize these individuals and avoid becoming too close whether in personal or professional associations?  There are 4 clues which firmly highlight a person one should be wary of.

  1. Disagree with them.  A personality disordered person sees any thoughts that run contrary to his or hers as a win/lose battle.  Their thoughts must be proven as the only correct thoughts so their self esteem can remain in place.  When you meet a new acquaintance, disagree with them on a trivial matter such as how much sleep one needs every night.  A regular person will not care what your response is, but a personality disordered person will be invested in their point of view.
  2. Notice their behavior on holidays and birthdays.  Most people are excited to celebrate holidays and birthdays.  Individuals with personality disorders do not like the limelight to be taken away from them.  They will inevitably pick awful fights that ruin the entire day just to be noticed.
  3. Read their social media posts and listen to what they talk about.  The personality disordered will say lots of things but most of them will not make sense.  They will rant on and on but you will remain confused about what they really want and why the conversation was necessary in the first place.
  4. Check in with yourself to see if you feel manipulated and crushed.  The personality disordered want you to feel small and helpless in their presence.  They will change the rules of engagement on the fly, expect a lot more of you than they expect from themselves, and will manipulate you into thinking there is something wrong with you.

Find out more about the personality disordered here.

All the best you!

Linn Chetty

Founder of the Unstoppable Man and Woman’s Mindset


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Linn Chetty

About Linn Chetty

Hello! I am the founder of the Unstoppable Man and Woman's Mindset, a mindset coach, and an animal lover.

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