Projection. Such an interesting word. If you think about it, a projector takes a small image and projects the image on to the wall. Oddly enough, toxic people also project. Aggressive and other character disturbed individuals enjoy inflicting harm at the expense of chosen targets.
Projection is one tool of the aggressive individual. We could go in to seeking explanation for an aggressive person’s behavior. However, at the end of the day, thinking that projection is anything but an attempt to gain control over another person is futile. I certainly have been an object of projection as have others I have known. My hope for this article is to help non-aggressive individuals understand how to recognize and discourage projection.
I am a feeling person, I can feel the emotions of the people around me and those feelings are my first indication of an aggressive, controlling individual’s presence. When an aggressive person is near, the air feels heavy and confusion sets in — “are you really that small minded?!” The second indication comes with speech and/or facial expressions. The aggressive person behaves passive aggressively; through tone, phrases, facial expressions, actions, and so on. 🙄
It is jarring when an unhappy energy enters the room – yuck! When I feel them coming, I think, “good golly, get a life!” I have to say I marvel at society’s belief that passive aggression is an acceptable way to control others. Where I come from, you sort your stuff out and move forward; which is called character. The Bible says let your yay be yay and your nay be nay. If you have to go around manipulating and destroying others, that is a sign of a serious character defect.
So now that we are aware of what passive aggressive behavior looks like, how do we discourage it?
- When you first pick up that a person is aggressive, the best strategy is to work to avoid him or her. An aggressive person will always be aggressive. He or she is incapable of engaging in a stable relationship or friendship. Game playing is the only thing you will get from him or her.
- Laugh. Just laugh at the ignorant behavior. Small children seek control but by the time a person reaches adulthood, the behavior should have been outgrown.
- Glare at them with a stern face. In my experience, emotional manipulators are cowards, displaying overt aggression scares them into retreating.
- Do not take it personally. An aggressive person’s behavior is 100% about him or her.
- Don’t take the bait. Realize their behavior is childish. Jump in and enjoy your day no matter how the other person behaves.
- Build a life you love. When you are living your best life you won’t even notice how mean spirited covertly aggressive people are.
- Side step their craziness. Don’t answer questions or disclose your life.
- Pick opportune moments to set them on edge. Use their techniques on them, it is great fun!
All the best!