I cannot begin to fathom how others can give and subscribe to guilt. Guilt is a negative emotion that makes it difficult for one to process feelings and retain self esteem. In fact, guilt is a tool of codependent individuals who think that changing others will make him/her feel better. The truth of guilt is responding to guilt brings about maladaptive behavior. While scrolling through social media each day, I cringe at the messages that use guilt to motivate as opposed to a call for self discovery and self love. In our society, we talk a lot about self care; which is a positive thing. One of the better ways to practice self care is refuse to take in shame/guilt.
Here are a few ways to address the tool of guilt and make it your ally.
- Feel the feelings that come with guilt. Locate where you feel the feeling and what it is like to be in that space.
- Notice the event that has brought on guilt. Most likely, it is the words of others or memories from early life caregivers that cause a guilt reaction.
- Realize that people who need to bring guilt to others are practicing maladaptive behavior.
- Know that no human is perfect and that is the beauty of human life. We as humans are here to learn and grow. If you were perfect, it would be difficult to relate to other humans.
- Send out love to the initiator of the guilt and love yourself for being able to feel.
- Do not look outside of yourself for answers. Instead, ask your higher self to show you how to love yourself deeply and honestly.
- Lovingly detach from people who use guilt to manipulate others. Guilt has no place in our lives.
- Learn how to say, “that does not work for me”. Emotionally intelligent people are able to set boundaries without condemning others.
- Send yourself loving messages about your talent, joy, growth, and anything else that raises your vibration.
All the best!