We all have needs. As humans, we need to take care of our bodies through healthy eating, getting some exercise, and tending to our mental health. One area that we often leave to others to take care of, however, are our emotional needs. In many cases, our emotional needs intersect with our mental health needs. I am not certain where our need for others to care for us comes from, but it is certainly a prevalent attitude I frequently encounter. I agree that having supportive people in our lives is important. However, when our “support people” present with maladaptive behaviors, the support becomes soured and toxic.
We can also cause our interactions to be toxic because of our baggage. Oftentimes, going slowly and not rushing to judgement makes for the best friendships/relationships. Going easy on ourselves and being open to change is also useful.
If you are in need of understanding, genuine friendships, and letting yourself off of the hook, try some of these strategies:
- Engage in some form of meditation; even if the meditation means sitting in a quiet room without distractions, using imagery to represent your struggles, or reading tarot cards for yourself. We often get in our heads rather than trust that the answers are coming. Do whatever it is you need to in order to get out of your head and step into trust.
- Learn new skillsets. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. If what you are doing currently is not working, it is time to change your cognitive self. When one’s cognitive self changes, one’s behaviors, thoughts, and actions also change.
- Take some time off. Take a day or two to yourself to be free from obligation. Relax and do nothing or catch up on your favorite television/internet series or movies.
- Daydream. Allow your mind to flow unbounded with images of what your bold, big, beautiful, peaceful life can look like. Imagine the impossible occurring in your life.
- Trust in the abundance of the universe. You have a lot of moving parts and pieces as does the rest of the world. Trying to manage every point will be overwhelming. Tell the universe what you are aiming for and let go of negative emotions – stress, worry, frustration, and so on.
- Love yourself as you are. Work to love the parts of yourself you find unattractive. Your “unattractive” parts are the parts of yourself that need the most love.
- Depend wholly on yourself to feel good. When the actions of others trigger you, the triggering is a sign that you have unresolved wounds. Accept and tend to those wounds and allow the wounds to disappear. Listen to your intuition to avoid situations that will cause you repeated stress and harm.
All the best!