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On Being Resilient

Wouldn’t it be nice if life was relatively calm and smooth without too many surprises?  I could certainly use fewer challenges.  The truth is that no matter who you are or what you do, life is not always easy.  Some people are required to overcome challenge after challenge, which makes the endeavor to maintain adaptive …

Actions versus Words

People talk.  Talking is probably one of the easiest things to do.  The act of talking only requires speaking (with some language skills thrown in).   Words communicate what you are thinking so other people can be on the same page.  Unfortunately, some people use words to dupe and control others.  In this context, words are …

What is Love

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about love.  Love between parents and children, spouses, friends, and so on.  What are the parameters that justify alienation of love and what can be expected of love?  I am a person who loves deeply and is loyal.  In my experience, loyalty and love can be used as …

The Power of Shame

Shame is a great motivator.  Unfortunately, the motivation that comes from shame is usually negative.  Shame begins in childhood when caregivers work to motivate children’s behaviors.  As we grow, shame becomes a part of our self talk and a means that others can use to control us.   Instead of using shame, I think we should …

Projection (/prəˈjekSH(ə)n/)

Projection.  Such an interesting word.  If you think about it, a projector takes a small image and projects the image on to the wall.  Oddly enough, toxic people also project.  Aggressive and other character disturbed individuals enjoy inflicting harm at the expense of chosen targets.  Projection is one tool of the aggressive individual.  We could …

Love – Loss and Starting Over

Probably one of the most haunting experiences in the life of a human is loss of love.  When we put our hearts on the line and get hurt in the end, we are left with feelings of sadness and betrayal and may find it difficult to open our hearts again.  In many cases, our childhood …

Resistance to Change

Every human being would prefer to stay as he or she is.  After all, change is difficult.  Change is similar to a complete makeover.  Just imagine, reorganizing your whole life on a regular basis and you will see why people who could most benefit from change resist it.  There are people who have learned that …

Starting Over

Many times in life we have to start over.  Whether a job or relationship ends or the plans we made did not work out.  The thing is, starting over can be a difficult and sometimes devastating process.  In many cases, we are grieving while in the process of starting over.  Memories from the past, moments …