As a rose colored glasses kind of person, I have had to learn how to pace relationships.  The down side of not pacing relationships is the pain and heartache caused from trusting a person who is not trustworthy.  While a friendship may be ended easily, a romantic relationship is more difficult to get out of.  In other words, it is twice as important to go slow in romantic relationships.  If you are in a relationship with a difficult person and did not go slow, don’t beat yourself up.  Over time, we learn to be careful with our hearts.

Just remember to take time when forming a friendship or romantic relationship with another person ~ you have all the time in the world.

  1. Listen to uncomfortable feelings.  If a person’s actions or behaviors make you feel uneasy, trust those instincts and disengage.
  2. Don’t dive in too quickly.  Limit initial interactions to fewer interactions than you would with someone you know really well.
  3. Don’t share too much personal information.  Manipulative people may hide well initially and then try to use personal information against you when you try to move on.
  4. Spend time taking very good care of yourself.  It isn’t healthy to expect another person to care for you fully.
  5. Watch how the new person treats others.  The way a person treats others is the way the person will treat you.
  6. Observe how the person and their friends interact.
  7. Don’t accept last minute invitations to hang out.  Insist on a week’s or more notice.
  8. Refuse to spend time with people who break plans at the last minute.
  9. Watch your alcohol intake around new people.
  10. Initially hang out with new friends in a group.
  11. Don’t accept lavish gifts or overtures early in a relationship.
  12. Avoid becoming dependent on a person you just met.
  13. Spend plenty of time with existing friends.
  14. Introduce new friends to old friends and get their opinion on new people.  There have been a number of times my tried and true friends picked out a manipulative person way before I did.
  15. Be gentle with yourself if you don’t recognize a bad friend/relationship early on.  We are all working on improving our instincts and what we accept in relationships.

All the best!

Coach Linn

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About Linn Chetty

Hello! I am the founder of the Unstoppable Man and Woman's Mindset, a mindset coach, and an animal lover.

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