People talk. Talking is probably one of the easiest things to do. The act of talking only requires speaking (with some language skills thrown in). Words communicate what you are thinking so other people can be on the same page. Unfortunately, some people use words to dupe and control others. In this context, words are an instrument of abuse. Any person can literally say anything and it is up to you to chose whether or not to trust what is said. Trustworthy people follow through on their promises. Those who are not trustworthy have their own agenda. The important thing to do with people who have a lot of talk and no action is to notice how you feel when you interact with them. When some people speak do you feel yourself rolling your eyes knowing they will never follow through? As a child I can remember the sinking feeling I got when a person who never had my back promised to have my back “next time”. Trust the feelings you get and follow through accordingly.
The most important thing we can do as humans is watch the actions of others. Of course, I am not talking about playing tit for tat or a score keeping game. What I am talking about is seeing if people do what they say they will do. Also, if a person pledges love and loyalty to you and then does the same with people who openly attack you, recognize the shallowness of that person’s words.
People with adaptive skillsets do not need to lie and make false promises. Rather, they have the level of self esteem and efficacy to be honest in their dealings. Make sure to believe what you see and refuse to let people who diss you behind your back have a place in your life.
Here are some tips for being impeccable with your word:
- Keep your promises. Sure, there may be a time or two when something comes up but on the whole, you should be following through with your promises.
- Apologize and change when you have been dishonest. If you find that you have lied to a person or people over and over, apologize, make amends, and refuse to commit to things you cannot do.
- Don’t gossip about people you care about. Having your friends’ backs is important. If you destroy your friend to other people, don’t expect to be accepted by the friend anymore. Also, if you need to vent about someone, be careful who you vent to. Many people are just taking notes in order to destroy you.
- Refuse to get caught up in feuds when you don’t know both sides of the story. The character disturbed are amazing at making everyone else look bad. Always keep an open mind before siding with someone against another person.
- Work on your stuff. Our judgements of and actions towards others are generally a reflection of what we think of and believe about ourselves.
- Love and accept yourself warts and all. If you treat yourself like a king or queen, you will do the same for others!
All the best!